I’m Scared of Zombies. For Real.

Feliz Dia de los Muertos!  I should have written this post yesterday I suppose, but I’ve had a bit of writers block lately.  But thanks to this post by another cool lady named Holly over on her fitness blog, I finally have a little seasonal blog-spiration.

So I have a serious obsession with the tv show The Walking Dead.  I love it.  It scares the pants off me.  And since hubby and I have gotten into the show, I have just had a general obsession with zombies.  In the past year or so I have watched almost every zombie movie I can find.  Jared is a good sport about it, because he enjoys them too.

Photo credit: mtnweekly.com

The weird thing is, I am seriously terrified of zombies.  But I CANT. STOP. WATCHING.  It’s a strange phenomenon.  See, I am also afraid of ghosts (scoff if you must) so when really scary ghost movies come out, I can’t watch them.  I lose sleep for days.  But with zombies it’s different, and I think I know why – because zombie movies and tv shows are about survival.

I’d like to interject here that I think the premise of a zombie apocalypse is completely plausible, which is one reason I find these zombie stories so fascinating.  With all the chemical and biological weapons out there these days and our huge world population, it’s feasible that a pandemic could wipe us out.  So the idea of a virus that makes the host super aggressive and violent isn’t all that far-fetched.  In fact, when all that craziness (falsely attributed to ‘bath salts’) happened this summer, I had a fleeting thought that it might be happening.  It has to start somewhere, and when you hear on the news that a man was eating the face off of another person and police had to use deadly force to stop him, you have to wonder.

So I love watching zombie movies and shows because I enjoy speculating on the best way to survive should such a thing happen. Because in my mind, it could.  And I believe I have learned a lot from all the zombies and survivors I have observed on tv.

So here’s our Zombie Apocalypse Plan:

1. If I’m at work, I need to book it home, because Jared is my main chance for survival.  Hopefully I can save a few coworkers.

2. Our apartment is a terrible place to be stuck in case of zombies, so we would definitely need to find a new home base.  Preferably our parents would have been able to meet up with us.

3. Raid Academy (for those who don’t know, this is a sports & outdoor store).  We could gather weapons, ammunition, sensible shoes, good packs, dried foodstuffs, flashlights, etc.  [*Note – I only suggest raiding a store in the event of total civilization meltdown.  Obviously we would do things legally if possible.]

4. Next stop – a pharmacy.  I want to have plenty of bars of soap, tampons, aspirin, bandages, batteries, Neosporin, shelf-stable antibiotics, inhalers, razors, a brush, some ponytail holders, and about 25 tubes of chapstick (because how awful would it be to not ever have that??).

5. Assure that home base is impenetrable and secure a water source.

6. Find a vehicle that can drive over anything and add extra zombie-proofing.   A great example from the movie Zombieland:

Photo credit: imcdb.com

7. Slowly accumulate a ridiculous amount of canned food.  Preferably one entire bedroom at new home base would be converted to a pantry.

So that’s our plan of attack.  We aren’t the only ones, right?  Surely some of you otherwise normal adults have thought about what you might do if some sort of crazy pandemic swept America, zombie or not.  Realistically I will probably be so terrified that I will get eaten right off the bat, but if some miracle causes me to channel all that fear and get tough, we will probably be ok.  I do love this snarky cartoon:

Photo credit: someecards.com

I guess I need to get going on Holly’s Zombie Preparedness Workout.


One thought on “I’m Scared of Zombies. For Real.

  1. Wow, I would not have pegged you for a Walking Dead fan and that zombie workout is intense I guess you could have enough stamina to fight them off if you did that workout all the time. The only zombie movie I like is Shaun of the Dead and that’s partly for the British humor. I’m glad you posted something new :)

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